Sion recently built up a bit of a cyclocross bike and has been riding some dirt tracks on his own, yesterday I went out with him for a shred. No lycra, no energy drinks, no mountain bikes, just a couple of dudes on bikes enjoying the Gower countryside.

My Fairdale Weekender has pretty big tyres so I let some air out, raised the saddle and I was ready for action.

It’s gripped! It’s Sorted! Let’s off-road! 

Note the buzzard in the top right of the photo, at one point there were 8 of them hanging out.

Sion took the high road, I took the low road then I totally rode through the bushes.

We were basically just horsing about, yeah?

I was getting some serious air, like, 3ft of air.

It was only a short ride cause Sion is under thumb but here it is.

Today is Good Friday, the sun was shining and I had the day off work so went for a ride up the River Tawe back to my old stomping ground. I recently remembered about a well hidden place that I had skated a few times about 18 years ago, back then I wasn’t very good but in my mind it was still an awesome spot so decided it was time to see if it was still there. I hopped on the Fairdale and whistled my way up the river…

Clydach is a little village about 6 miles from Swansea city centre and it’s there where I lived from age 7 to 13. Here’s a little run through of some stuff  in the area and how it’s relevant to me…

We used to have to  cross the canal via this bridge to play rugby with school, in his youth my dad had hung over the side and painted ‘CHELSEA’ which was his favourite football team. In the background you can see the Mond Nickel Works, once a month they would test the emergency alarm and we’d have to get under the desks in school.

This is the rugby field where I scored my legendary full length try. The ball came out of the scrum and was passed to me just behind our line, I was as fast as a whippet and ran the whole pitch along the left hand side whilst the punk kids from Birchgrove Junior School dived for my ankles, they didn’t stand a chance.

Forge Fach, there was an outdoor swimming pool behind where I shot this photo from, I fell through my rubber ring and nearly drowned there once and another time the local rough kid punched me right in the face and ran off, I took it like a man cause I was as hard as nails then too. Just at the top of this waterfall I accidentally stepped on a wasp without shoes on and got stung, that hurt but I didn’t cry cause I was a big boy.

This is the TOP SECRET skate spot, it’s not as clean as it was back in the old days and is full of water because of the time of year. Hopefully in the summer the water will all disappear and with a bit of a brush we’ll be able to rip it up. It’s a small, mellow half pipe but will be a hell of a lot of fun.

And last but not least, this was our conker tree, we’d spend many hours climbing up and shaking the living daylights out of it. I used to try all the techniques for toughening up my prize conkers like freezing or soaking in vinegar. I had one that was so hard I used to play against the wall. Eventually it exploded into a million pieces. This was also the place I got my very first cycling injury…

…There was a small grass bank where the fence is and when pulling my bike out of it once I slipped back and one of the teeth on the chainring gouged a big chunk of skin out of my leg. I cried my eyes out cause it was bleeding something rotten and one of the other kids was rubbing it with a leaf. I rode all the way home with my trouser leg rolled up and then my mother put some TCP on it, aaaaaaaaaargh!!!

I went out with Sion and Beynon on Saturday for a bit of a spin on the road bike, we’ve all been very slack recently so kept it short, less than 30 miles.

I wanted to go further but those guys were like a couple of wieners and were all crying like… “Owwwwwww my legs!” and “Aaaaaaargh my legs” whereas I was all “Man alive, I’m hard as nails!”

Sion guided the way, not with his day-glo but with his bright white sexy legs.

The weather was nice, look, blue and green, lovely.

There were some clouds, Instagram gold.

I gobbed on my hood, d’oh!

See the route on Strava or Ride With GPS.

Sion, Evs and myself headed into the Brecon Beacons for an hour or so, the weather was moody and just right to snap some decent shots.

Evs getting his skid on in my favourite little riding spot

Evs again, the climb in the background can be a right bastard

Sion hitting up the switchback on the Black Mountain

The dynamic duo heading towards Wales’ finest department store

Up the hill, down the hill, cruising for sheep, we’re looking for a velcro glove sponsor…

A token portrait of the Godfather of the Swansea fixed gear scene, Marc Evans

I’ve not ridden my road bike for almost 3 months, I got out of the routine and just haven’t bothered to slip into my gimp outfit and go out for a right royal whipping.

On Saturday I went out with my brother’s friend James and his friend Neil, my brother didn’t come because he’s given himself frostbite on his knee or something, which I didn’t know was possible in South Wales.

We only planned to do 20-30 miles but I duped the guys, who are both quite new to the wonderful world of road cycling, into a a much bigger ride, for me it was 50 miles and 5000ft of climbing, for them a little bit less because we started and finished at different points.

Going straight into a 5000ft ride after a 12 week hiatus was maybe not my most cleverest idea ever, I ended up with a whole load of cramps and chest pain in the last 10 miles but it was good to be back in the mountains surrounded by nature, nature and more nature.

I doubt I’m going to get right back into the religious every weekend road rides but who knows, I can’t keep up with what I like and don’t like anymore.

This house is badass. In case you were unaware the Rapha Festive 500 is not about challenging yourself to ride 500km in 8 days, it’s about brainwashing you into associating good times with Rapha and making you spend 500 quid on a Team Sky replica willy warmer.

Check out the ride on Strava or Ride with GPS.

On Saturday I went out riding with my most newest friend in all the world, Kath. I met her when she bought a bike from my shop a couple of weeks ago and have been threatening her with the mountains for a while.

Until this weekend she’d only ridden back and forth to work and uni etc and not been on a ‘real ride’ but as she is so fit I decided that rather than ease her into longer rides we’d just hit the mountains and roll with the punches.

We headed up Rhydypandy Road which would be far too difficult for a normal person but she got up there with no problems at all. We then dropped down before climbing up to the highest point in Swansea where the ruins of Penlle’r Castell sit hidden. We rambled our way over the boggy ground to the amazing piece of local history that nobody knows about and came away with soaking wet feet, it was worth it though.

On the way down into Ammanford we stopped to watch a rain cloud and rainbow move across the sky in the distance, it was the most amazing weather I have ever seen. Although nowhere near as incredible as being there click on the panorama above to view larger.

At this point the temperature changed suddenly and we both started to freeze so we headed to Tesco to warm up, Kath tried to dry out her shoes with a hand dryer (without taking them off, she’s very bendy) and I tried and failed to buy new socks and gloves. I was shaking uncontrollably and we decided to get the train home, unfortunately there wasn’t one due for two hours so we had no choice but to ride back up and over the mountain to warm up.

The climb up Heol y Mynydd reaches 20% at some points and hovers at 15%+ for quite a while at many points, this is a challenge for even the most seasoned road cyclist (isn’t it Sion?) and although she had to walk a couple of parts she did amazingly well. Rather than use the gradient and walking as an excuse to not ride it again she immediately set riding the whole thing in the near future as a goal for herself, what a gal!

We climbed 3500ft in about 25 miles, with the whole ride coming in at 35 miles, I’m sure you’ll agree that for someones first ride that is pretty epic! Especially when she was in trainers on flat pedals and had to borrow a jersey and arm warmers off me, she’s going to be killing it within a few months. View the route on Strava.

Following on from the big freeze on Saturday I took no chances on Sunday morning and went out fully ninja’d up.

I met my brother, who has recently started commuting, and we went out for our first ride together. Again I had no desire to ease him into it and we headed straight to a particularly tough climb in Pontardawe, of the six people I’ve taken up here he is only the second one to make it to the top without stopping on their first ascent, awesome!

We headed over to the highest point in Swansea again, I shot off to show a mountain biker in dayglo how a real dickhead rides up a hill and waited for Craig at the top. I tried to ride at the pace they were both comfortable with but sometimes the thrill of the chase is simply too much to resist, haha.

We cut back around rather than over to Ammanford because I was against the clock and my gooch was killing from the new bib shorts I’ve been wearing. We nailed about 2500ft in about 12 miles or so according to the elevation graph, check it out on Strava.

This post is a bit longer than I usually like to write but both Kath and Craig did really well and they deserved the space, good job both!

I love to climb, everyone knows that by now. The more it hurts the more I like it, I sometimes think that maybe I should stop wearing lycra and just get myself a full blown gimp suit for my weekend jaunts into the mountains, I may even remove my saddle and just go with the seatpost.

Most of the time I ride alone because people complain about the hills but there is one person ’round here who never moans and that is Sion. He may not have the build of a climber but mentally he is as light as I am physically. He often takes the long way home from work to take in some killer climbs, he is absolutely mad for it. He can also descend like a bag of rockets, he leaves me waaaaaaay back.

Yes, he smokes a fag before setting off to ‘open up his lungs’; yes, he sometimes grunts like a pig on the way up; and yes, on occasion he has had to get off and push but he never lets these things put him off the next ride, haha.

On Saturday he agreed to ride as long as we didn’t go up Heol Y Mynydd, I said ‘fine’ but didn’t even know where that road was, boy did his eyes light up when we got to the bottom of it, chuffed he was. We took in over 4000ft of climbing in just 34 miles, it was bang tidy.

Big shout out to Sion: a gentleman, a scholar, and an honorary climber!

(Click on the panorama to see it bigger, it’s a beaut!)

As always, you can check out the route on Strava and Ride With GPS.

He pulled on his skimpy lycra shorts, they hugged his firm buttocks and accentuated his colossal thighs, he had not done this for five weeks and a shiver shot up his spine, he trembled with excitement. Although he hadn’t longed for his mistress and didn’t even know why they hadn’t met in this time he knew that he was in for a hot, sweaty and memorable rendezvous.

Climbing on top of her he sensually pressed all of her buttons, as expected she trembled beneath him and hung on his every word, “I’ve missed you” he whispered into her ear and she purred like a kitten.

She had longed to feel his sinewy, strong body again and he was on top form, under a never ending blue sky he ran his hands over her slight frame and she screamed “faster! faster!”, he never disappointed and took her to places that no other man could.

He pulled her close, her eyes rolled back in her head, they went down together and held on to each other for dear life.

He sat up and looked her in the eye, she knew what was coming next. He was a caring and gentle man but he liked to go hard, she closed her eyes and gave a single, slow nod.

He stood up and started pushing, they swayed from side to side as he took her higher, higher higher and then collapsed into her arms, sweat pouring and mouth dry. “What about me?” she whispered and down he went again.

Neither of them will ever know why they were apart for five weeks, but they were thrilled to find that their love affair was still very much on fire and that the break had made their reunion something very very special.

“I love you” she said as his mind wandered, thinking about his next concubine. “I love you too“.

Yesterday I went out with Sam from Urban Cyclery and Nick from Exist Skatepark, it was chaos.

I popped a sachet of energy/electrolyte powder into my water bottle and we headed straight for one of my favourite climbs. I rode up it with no more or less effort than normal but I felt a bit of a headache coming on which I assumed was due to the muggy weather. We descended down into the valley and as soon as we hit the next climb I felt like hell, my head was pounding, I was sweating pints, I was huffing and puffing like a big bad wolf and I lost sight of the guys.

By the time I got to the top they had turned around to come and look for me, it was at this point that I thought there might be something up with this energy drink, I put it down to the sugar and we headed towards Ammanford where I planned to get a bottle of water to replace it with.

On the way down I was feeling all light-headed and managed to over-shoot a bend and skidded right into a bush full of stingy nettles and brambles! I am blessed with the reflexes and balance of a panther so I managed to unclip and stay upright and only got stung all over my legs, I hauled myself out of the mess and we headed towards a petrol station.

I came out with a big bottle of water and Sam noticed that all round my mouth had gone red, I was definitely allergic to this powder. We had planned to ride back up and over the same mountain using a different road but right away I felt my throat swelling up and I was struggling to breathe properly so instead we took the easy way home.

I think if I hadn’t stopped drinking the energy/electrolyte stuff as soon as I did and hadn’t drunk a lot of water I could have gone into a full blown anaphylactic shock and ended up in the hospital. I’ve never used an energy drink before and won’t be using one again, I only wanted it for the electrolytes anyway!

On the final stretch we took a short cut and I managed to hit the thickest block of mud on earth, one day after cleaning my bike, bloody typical! We stopped at a petrol station again and I hosed my baby down then went home. The End.

Having recently become single (ladies, form an orderly queue) I have started going out on the weekend for a few swift vodkas and a packet of self-loathing, this could play havoc with my cycling but I’m old enough and wise enough to know when to stop the pop and drink water now.

On Saturday night I went to see John Cooper Clarke, he was on for over two and a half hours and a bit pissed I think. I then went to (what was left of) Exist Skatepark’s 1st birthday celebrations and from them on to Mozart’s where I escaped before reaching the bottom of my glass. I nailed a litre of water before bed and woke up fresh enough to ride, amazingly the bed was dry too, bonus!

I don’t usually ride the Gower Peninsula, the main roads are tight, often fairly busy, quite flat and with high bushes at the side so I just find it boring. But seeing as I had nowhere to be and was desperate to make sure a sneaky mid afternoon hangover didn’t get me I went out and freestyled it, I took the backroads.

I wasn’t too adventurous, I had some sort of plan but I found a few sneaky little climbs and didn’t see many people which is always a positive in my book. I’ll be riding the Gower more often from now on I think, I need to build up a mental map and increase my Secret Knowledge of the Backroads.

I visited Oxwich Castle, not sure what it’s like inside, they wanted cash money to get in, maybe another day.

This is the kind of thing you find in the webbed network of lanes that connect the villages of the Gower.

The highest point on the peninsula is Cefn Bryn, this red kite flew right over my head just before I turned onto the hill. It was actually only about 3-4 meters above at one point, so cool!

Two mountain bikers were up the road a bit so I got out of the saddle and powered past them for shits and giggles, one of them (who was clearly off his chops on Monster Energy) sprinted up to my wheel, I didn’t turn around, I just threw down the hammer and shot off way faster than he could even have understood, then I turned around and saw his head dropped in shame.

Coming off Cefn Bryn there was a serious case of Garminitis because I’m pretty sure I didn’t actually hit 82.8mph. I hit that on the way up, knowwhatimsayin?

I then took the very sneaky backroad along the marches, where I rode no-handed and took in the bloody lovely view. The last portion of the ride was great, you know when the wind is behind you, your cadence is just right and the bike purrs like a kitten? It was just like that.

You know the drill, Strava and Ride With GPS