Top Ten Reasons Why You Should Forget About Lance Armstrong

I’ve not posted about this whole Lance thing because I simply couldn’t care less what happened to him either way and this is why…

1. What he did makes absolutely no difference to my life

2. He’s a jock douchebag, most professional athletes are

3. Most riders were at it back then (he’s still king dickhead though)

4. Look at his impish face, I’d rather not have to see it

5. I hated him before the whole fuss and now everyone is jumping on MY bandwagon

6. I didn’t even finish the first page of his book, it was shit

7. If he was ever really cool they would have made a Stretch Lance Armstrong toy, they didn’t

8. I really don’t care about the races he won, other people’s achievements do not impress me

9. He’s a boring turd

10. Professional cycling has been corrupt since day one, what he did makes no difference, cycling is awesome

Fuck Lance, don’t stick up for him and don’t get your knickers in a twist over what he did. Instead of thinking about this dumbass just get out on your bike, or even better go out on somebody else’s piece of shit £60 bike and reacquaint yourself with why you started cycling in the first place, because it’s a bloody good laugh.