The Indignity of Traveling by Bus

Last Friday I had to catch the bus home, after a bit of a barney with some stuck up bitch in Tesco I am not allowed in my girlfriends company car anymore, ha! I’ve spent practically my whole life getting around by bus, after my parents got divorced in 1994 it was the bus or nothing because my mother can’t drive.

I used to skate into town most of the time when it was dry but still had to bus it home and as long as I had my Walkman I didn’t really mind. When depression finally ravaged my life like wild fire and I lost everything I had catching the bus became a whole different affair. It went from being my way of getting around to the most miserable part of my day, and believe me my days were MISERABLE. Fair enough I probably didn’t help myself by listening to Red House Painters non-stop but I started to see catching the bus for what it actually is: a freak show.

Seriously now, it’s fucking horrible. What is up with all these fully grown adults catching the bus? Why haven’t they learned to drive or discovered bikes or walking? They are all as dull as a brush, they get on and sit in the area for prams/wheelchairs when there are plenty of other seats and are then pissed off when they have to move a few stops later. They stink of piss or B.O or are covered in pastry or feel the need to eat McDonalds. I suppose the old folks can’t be blamed for stinking of piss but they still get on my tits on the bus, I just can’t help but think that they have wasted their lives if they are still using public transport at their age.

One time back in the 80’s I remember this crazy woman get on with a ghettoblaster and was singing along for the whole journey, it has stuck in my mind for so long because such behaviour is insania but since the advent of MP3 mobile phones with speakers it seems that kids think it is absolutely fine to play the shittest music known to man in the back seats, it’s so fucking retarded! Who the fuck is bringing these socially inept idiots up? Why would you play music on a bus? It really grinds my gear!

What I’m trying to say is that discovering cycling has totally changed the way I travel. I’m no longer at the mercy of timetables (that drivers can’t keep); I don’t have to go places when I can I now go when I want; I get around for free now, Swansea buses are ridiculously expensive; I can get from A to B relatively germ free; and cycling is quicker, the bus journey to work takes 35-40 minutes, I can cycle it in 12 minutes. People need to get a grip on reality and swap their bus tickets for bikes.

Oh, I forgot, one time there were these two total mongs sat by me talking about going on holiday, their conversation went like this:
Him: “I want to go somewhere hot, like Siberia or something.”
Her: “Yeah, it’s fucking boiling there innit, I’d have to buy a new bikini.”
If there is any better reason not to catch the bus, I’d like to hear it!

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