The Foot Down

Saturday saw Swansea’s second alleycat, this time organised by Evs. The Scenic Sprint was an all out time trial with just a single checkpoint where we turned around and raced back to the start. The route was about 12 miles, every second of which was riding into the wind, Swansea Bay has a delightful multi-directional wind policy to piss off cyclists. 20 riders entered and headed straight for Oystermouth Rd, the worst part about this race is you kind of knew what place you were in because you could see everyone leave you and then they passed you on their way back as you were still heading towards the checkpoint.

A strong group broke away early and held their position right to the end. The real race was between myself and Jason Veall, we had a bet going where if he beat me I gave him a t-shirt from the last alleycat for free but if I beat him he would have to pay £20 for it, I couldn’t bare to see this grown man cry again (he was D.F.L last time) so I let him beat me and handed over the t-shirt without a crossed word at the end. Only Eddie was hit by a car, nothing serious but no doubt affected his performance. Beynon and me managed to almost perform a double Superman through a woman’s windscreen about 20 metres from the finish line which was quite scary!

Aled took the trackstand title for the second time, he spends waaaaaaaay too much time practicing in his kitchen it seems. The skid comp was pretty eventful with George faceplanting and Fisher pulling an amazing 1-footed-stand-up-no-skid (video below). The day’s events were polished off with a climb past Dylan Thomas’ house, it’s not a particularly huge hill but after the race it was enough to leave everyone gagging for a pint.

More photos here and here.

Big thanks to Street Evans for organising the day and all the sponsors: Howies, Hub Jub, 14 Bike Co, Exist and Wheelies. I’d like to give a special shout out to all the Trackdropouts boys and girl that came over from Bristol, it was a pleasure.

Race
1. Timpo
2. Tim
3. Owen
4. Ric
5. Chris Punk
6. Ed
7. Jason
8. Jono (blog)
9. JT
10. Sion
11. Ty
12. Beynon
13. Aled
14. Jake
15. Garry
16. George
17. Corbin
18. Eddie (Hit by a car)
19. Emily (D.F.L)
20. Jack (D.N.F)

Longest Skid
1. JT
2. Ric
3. Fisher
4. George
5. Timpo
6. Owen

Trackstand
1. Aled

Hill Climb
1. Garry
2. Ed
3. Owen
4. Fisher

A few weeks back Me and Owen hit Bath to race in our first out of town alleycat, it proved to be a day full of disasters. Neither of us had ever been to the city before so we decided the best plan was to just follow some locals then destroy them at the end with our masculine Welsh lungs that we are born with for all the singing that we do. The first three checkpoints were out of the way pretty quick then we got onto Joshua’s (of White Duck Screenprint) wheel, he was our chosen victim, we would be like nits, like ticks, like two out-of-towners cheating in an alleycat. We shot off like rockets, most people took the road but not us, we hit the bike path, Josh was sure that this was the best way to go to avoid the roadworks that everyone else was going to have to deal with. This path went on and on and on then KABOOM! Owen looked down to find that all his chainring bolts had fallen out, fuck knows how it happened but he was out of the race, we left him for dead.

It was soon apparent that we had chosen to take advantage of the wrong local because we had overshot our exit from the path and were pretty lost. After a fair few stops to consult the paper map I hap prepared the night before and the iPhone maps app we hit the furthest checkpoint, I was convinced that we were in first place because we hadn’t seen anyone for so long but the dude at the checkpoint said that 19 people were ahead of us, turns out we did about 5 extra miles. Had Josh figured out our plan? Had he loosened Owen’s bolts? Had he deliberately taken me around the houses?

We were pretty fast on the way back, we took it in turns to push the pace, I tried to wear my (now) opponent down. The final hill to the last checkpoint was a killer, we rode a third, walked a third then rode the last stretch determined to enter the park by wheel and not by foot. Josh edged ahead during our three laps of the ‘antidrome’, I pushed as hard as I could but I couldn’t catch the bastard, his lady and kids were waiting for him at the line, I had nothing to finish for now but the hope that I wasn’t last (I wasn’t, Graeme was still lost).

Well, there you go, that is my account from the back of the race, go here to see photos and read about the front of the race by Dave who came first. I think the moral of this story is to make sure all your nuts and bolts are tight, that if you plan on following a local make sure that they know EXACTLY where they are going, and finally, that you will have the energy to pip them at the post and take all the glory. Big thanks to the Fixed Gear Bath boys, all the sponsors: Whiteduck, John’s Bikes, Cadence, Freshtripe, 14 Bike Co, HubJub, Velo Solo and Prendas and last but not least Josh for not happy slapping me after he reads this, haha.

Right! I know reviewing a gig isn’t exactly about fixed gear bikes BUT I am justifying it by reminding you that a WHY? song is used in Fast Friday and Yoni even mentions riding a ‘fixie with the chopped horns turned in’ so bite me. When I first heard Alopecia by Why? I thought it sucked, it was only because Duncan kept saying how good it was that I gave it a second chance and eventually realised that it was a fucking great album. I worked backwards and discovered that Yoni Wolf had been putting out badass music for a long time, I became obsessed and they soon worked their way right up to #4 in my Last.fm chart.

Last saturday I hit up Bristol to see my most recent, in a long line of, obsession(s). They played at Thekla, which for anyone that doesn’t know, is a boat. You enter through the door, descend some steps and the bowels of the boat is where the magic happens. I like to inform people of things so get ready for this: the term ‘all ship shape and Bristol fashion’ relates to the harbour where there can be a difference of up to 30ft between tides. All ships moored in Bristol, therefore, need to have all their shit well secured so that they don’t get broke, you can thank me later.

The supports: Josiah Wolf (Yoni’s brother) had a lovely Jew-Fro and played nice songs on acoustic guitar, bass drum and some shells dangling onto a symbol all by himself. I Might Be Wrong were a typical run of the mill ‘indie band’, the only thing to note is that the guitarist looked like Andrew Hall from Butterflies.

Thekla run a tight ship (see what I’ve done there?) and the running times were pretty spot on. Why? took to the stage just a few minutes later than they were meant to, the first thing that struck me was how small Yoni is, it’s very easy to imagine people you admire as being gigantic, almost God-like statues but he is, like, 5ft and a fart and very slight. This made his greatness as a lyricist and a performer even better for me, this dude truly is a lyrical wizard, he can twist and bend words into sentences of such complexity that it is nigh on impossible to shake them from your head once you hear them. Take the song ‘Against Me’ for example, just yesterday my woman shouted “WILL YOU STOP SINGING THAT BLOODY SONG?!”, and I just thought ‘I can’t’. Read and then listen…

I’ve been habitually rubbing the sleep from my eyes,
I see the rain does not respect state lines, why should you?
And I’ve seen dirt dry fires arise by pissing boy fountain statues
And they say electricity can travel up your piss stream

Oh am I too concerned with the burn of scrutiny?
Cold chased on run and covered like a horse before the race
Will I gain weight in later life?
And when will someone swing a scythe against me?

Out of every woman on earth, who will I mate with?
Or will I spit empty threats, until all that’s left, is a million zeros printed on a roll of ticker-tape?
And one last echo of the final tiny wave in my wake?
Will all my unused seed collect like mercury, in some kind of afterlife for halves?
Should I offer up my lats and pecs as stakes in death?

Whatever the will of the people shall be, Ohio and me

But am I too concerned with the burn of scrutiny?
Cold chased on run and covered like a horse before the race
Will I gain weight in later life?
And when will someone swing a scythe against me?

Oh I’d rest in peace on a freshly cleaned and steamed plush carpet for sure,
In the vacant third floor of a department store
Or be hung with four nails on the projection wall
In an empty convention center banquet hall

That’s right, I’m like everybody else is
Ashamed of sleep, I lie when a phone call wakes me

Oh am I too concerned with the burn of scrutiny?
Cold chased on run and covered like a horse before the race
Will I gain weight in later life?
And when will someone swing a scythe against me?

Download the Yoni Wolf Daytrotter session which is totally bodacious.

Yoni’s mad skillz as a live performer match his mad skillz as a songwriter, he commands the stage with the cocksureness of Morrissey mixed with the fun of Jonathan Richman. In between songs he engages with the audience, there was not a second during the whole gig where I felt anything but part of the show. Band and audience were as one, it almost brought a tear to my Japs eye. I feel like I should talk about the setlist so I will, I wish they had played The Fall of Mr Fifths, that is all I have to say on the matter, everything thing else was dandy: These Few Presidents, Rubber Traits, The Vowels Pt.2, Good Friday, Against Me, Sanddollars, These Hands, Brook And Waxing, A Sky For Shoeing Horses Under, Into The Shadows Of My Embrace, Eskimo Snow, By Torpedo Or Crohn’s, Crushed Bones.

I shot some photos during the gig (Flickr set), you will have noticed them no doubt and thought to yourself ‘damn, nice photos’, so thanks for that thought. At 10pm it was all over and I was left entirely fulfilled, something which happens very rarely to me at shows these days, what with me being a 28yr old (OLD) man that would like to strangle the last breath out of twats that go to gigs in cardigans and plimsoles and think they are the dogs bollocks. I was happy, I had my two t-shirts and a spring in my step.

On Sunday I attempted riding from Bristol to Cardiff, which is only 45 miles, but after riding into a headwind for 30 of those I gave up and got the train from Newport. That ride was so fucking shit I even caught the bus to work on Monday cause I didn’t ever want to ride a bike again. I passed Paul Potts on the Severn Bridge which was kinda cool I suppose even though as I approached him I thought I was about to run over someone with Down Syndrome…

I thought I was done but this will interest you, I used to blog as Boxing Duck and posted live bootlegs, the last one I posted was a WHY? recording which you can download here. There are actually a whole load of cool downloads on my old blog so have a rummage around. Enjoy.

Swansea’s second fixed gear event is coming up, the 27th of March will see The Scenic Sprint hit the bay. Evs has been working on this for a while now and it should be a killer day oot for all the family (if they all ride fixies). There will be one checkpoint, at the far end of Swansea Bay so it’s an all out, time trial type of race of around 13 miles. 14 Bike co, Charlie The Bikemonger, Hub Jub, Skullcandy Headphones and Exist Clothing are sponsoring the race so there will be some hot booty up for grabs! I’m looking forward to this! RSVP on Facebook and if you have any questions hit up the event wall or the comments here and I’ll make sure Evs gets back to you.

View Scenic Sprint Alleycat 2010 in a larger map

I’m proud to announce that Fisher and Kerry are featured on the Fags on Fixies site today

Owen of ‘the worlds orangest bike‘ fame has taken my trademark catchphrase and created a limited run of 25 hand screen-printed, uh, prints. It features a fun police sign with ‘I Do What I Want When I Want’ underneath, it’s a must for any anti-authority types out there. They are A3 and cost just £10, head over to the Ambition is Pitiful blog to order yours now!

RE-UNITED WITH OWNER, PUNK KID IN THE CLINK!
Finbar’s bike was stolen from College Green in Bristol between 12:30 and 15:30 on Monday March 15th. It has been spotted near Tesco Golden Hill with two 35yr old guys. Keep an eye out for it, if you see it try and lock it up and call the police or get in touch with the owner via here.

I was browsing through the Carhartt catalogue in work today because our stock is taking forever to arrive and I wanted to know what to expect. I came across something that I was sure I couldn’t have missed on the internet. So I hit Google to find that only one other person had ever posted about what I’d found (some time last year). So I present to you the Carhartt x Charge fixed gear. I haven’t got any info on price or availability yet but I’ll try and get it from my Carhartt people asap.

For higher res pictures go to The Foot Down Flickr.

As you can see from the spec below and the picture above it’s basically a Plug with different grips and a new brown paint job.

- Charge Plug 700C Cromoly Frame
- Charge Split Riser Bar
- New Carhartt C-Logo Grips
- Charge Masher Chain
- Sugino Rd2 Messenger Cranks 42T
- Eclat Surge PC Pedals
- Charge Bucket Seat
- Large Flange Track Style Hubs With Freewheel And Fixed Cog
- Charge Deep Section Rims

Carhartt also have some bike lights, grips as mentioned, tools and other BMX stuff which is pretty cool.

So, you’ve got your fixie, you’re all hip and cool, people make fun of you for riding the latest trendy bike but you don’t care because you actually really enjoy riding. You had no idea that you were gonna love cycling this much, in fact you ride everywhere now and you start to wonder how many miles you ride in a week so you start looking into cycle computers. You notice that they are all boring and ‘electronicky’ but soon you come across the Knog N.E.R.D.

The N.E.R.D comes in both 9 and 12 function models with the following features (bold ones are only on the 12 function model):

Since getting this computer riding any kind of distance is much more fun, it’s great to see exactly how far you’ve gone and watch your average speed drop as the hours go by and you become weak, pathetic and far less attractive to the opposite sex. It’s so easy to use, there are no buttons as such, the entire screen acts as a button so each press of it moves on to the next display making it really easy to change to what you want to see as you are riding.

Both N.E.R.D’s are wireless, the transmitter and the receiver are extremely light and housed in 100% waterproof medical grade silicone. There’s no fucking about putting these things on your bike, you just wrap the thing around it and hook it on, I’ve never experienced any movement when riding, some people claim they have but they must be a bit slow in the head and managed to attach them wrong (they must be REALLY thick).

The transmitter and the receiver are not really that small but does that matter? A cycle computer is not meant to be a fashion accessory (although this is as close as they get), it’s there to show that you are a total saddo who is probably wearing cycle shorts under your jeans (yes you!) because as much as you want your performance to improve there is no way you are flashing your junk in public (but you know that chicks are thinking about your rock hard thighs). The N.E.R.D is like a cool looking pair of thick rimmed glasses worn by a hot graphic designer rather than a pair of National Health specs on the face of a lycra-clad, overweight roadie wannabe. What I’m trying to say is that it’s not small but it’s good looking.

This review is not going as smoothly as I would have liked, I’m talking more crap than sense. The receiver which is also the display can be removed from the silicone housing and rotated so you can mount it on your frame/stem or your bars, something not possible with a lot of other computers due to the mounting hardware, I prefer mine on the stem so that I have all the bars for my hands. The silicone housing also makes it really easy and painless to remove them when you wanna go into Costa to buy a vanilla bullshit thing.

Both parts take a single little round battery each which are super easy to replace (see pix), Knog reckons they should last 1-2 years of normal use which is great either way. You’ll see that I’ve used mine a fair amount, the spoke magnet has a bit of surface rust on it which is no big deal. I thought the white one would have got really dirty really fast but that’s not the case at all. I can see this lasting me for years. Actually this was attached to my bike when I got hit by a car last year, I broke my collarbone and a rib, tore a huge whole in my thigh muscle and smashed the car window into a million pieces but the computer didn’t budge and still works perfectly. If that isn’t a good reason to get one then I don’t know what is.

Have I covered everything? Are you sold on these things yet? Oh yeah, the price. These are NOT cheap but neither are Macs and you would never buy a PC now would you? If you want a computer that functions flawlessly, looks good and is made by a truly creative, innovative brand that deserves to be supported then buy a N.E.R.D. If you wanna be a cheapskate then buy a crappy one from Tesco but end up getting one of these anyway in a couple of months, the choice is yours.

For more info and full specifications go to the Knog product page.

The large display is easy to read

The one piece design makes mounting easy

The unit can be removed from the silicone and rotated to go where you want it to

The transmitter can be attached to thin or wide forks

The spoke magnet is easily attached or removed with a coin

Receiver, spoke magnet and transmitter

Receiver and transmitter removed from their silicone housing

The rear of the receiver (note the button at the bottom)

The Transmitter takes a single LR44 battery

The receiver takes a single CR2023 battery

Have you got a N.E.R.D? What do you think of them? Hit up the comments with your own little reviews and questions.

Will Kennard / Derby
Reynolds 520 Cr-Mo frame
Globe Roll integrated stem/handlebar combo
Suntour singlespeed Cranks 42/17
Charge Spoon Saddle / Sponge Grips
Specialized Mondo Sport 700 x 23c Tyres