The Foot Down

Looks like the humble fixed gear bike has hit the big time, and I don’t mean these two fucking twats. A chap can be seen doing some kind of fixed gear freestyle twirly wirly thing on the new Apple iPod touch advert. Usually I’d go on about brands jumping on the bandwagon but I’ll be damned if I’m gonna diss Apple, with exceptions being the G4 Cube, Mac Mini, the last Shuffle and the first iPhone. Anyone know who the dude on the bike is?

This comic strip pretty much sums up how I feel about helmets, I don’t wear one and I honestly can’t see me ever changing my mind. I can understand why people wear them but I’d like to hear people’s opinions on the matter and get a nice little debate going from fixed gear riders, the helmet debate is usually fought out amongst roadies, commuters, mountain bikers, unicyclists and all other manner of weirdos in the same thread but I’ve yet to hear what WE think.

I’m sure you’ve all seen these advertisements, they’ve been posted up on a load of blogs over the last few months and they are hard hitting for sure but they just don’t shake me. I grew up skateboarding and have fallen on my head loads of times, I’ve been bruised, grazed and had stitches and I’m f-f-fine. I suppose getting hit by a car and falling down some steps are quite different but surely bonking your head is bonking your head? I don’t think anyone would argue that wearing a helmet would reduce the pain of bashing your head against the ground but if you live your life worrying about hurting yourself every now and then you’d be one boring mother fucker. The human body can take a lot of punishment and we’ve evolved to have quick reactions and reflexes, 99% of the time you’ll fall off your bike and won’t hit your head, you are far more likely to scratch your knee or break your wrist but there is no argument for pads and wrist guards, probably because you are unlikely to die from a sore knee.

There is research that swings both ways when it comes to helmets, some says “yes! helmets will save your life!” but a few more clicks around in Google and you’ll find some professor or other saying that wearing a helmet makes you more likely to be hit by a car in the first place. Whether a helmet is safer or not is irrelevant in my opinion because no amount of proof will get a majority to wear a helmet, I’m not really interested in research I’m interested in hearing why YOU wear or don’t wear one, after all personal safety is personal and I feel that we also shouldn’t be dictated to by governments that introduce helmet wearing laws.

I’ve just had my tea and have completely forgotten where I was…uh… Oh yeah, today, after 10 months the dick that ran me over has admitted responsibility so my compensation claim is finally getting somewhere. I was pretty badly injured that day, I flew over the top of the car, breaking my collarbone, cutting a huge gash through my thigh muscle and breaking a rib but my cycling cap didn’t even fall off. My head was completely fine. Maybe I was lucky, maybe my reflexes kept my head from hitting the ground, we’ll never know but I wonder whether years of skating, falling on my ass day in day out for years, has taught me to not just hit the ground like a sack of shit but to land lightly like a lovely little butterfly. I’m just throwing stuff out there but I do believe that some people are safer than others because they aren’t fucking drips, no amount of neon, trouser clipage or a helmet would help a lot of people, street-smarts are important I reckon and that comes with an active ‘extreme’ (yes it’s a stupid word but you know whatimsayin’) lifestyle but with an extreme active lifestyle also comes a higher chance of running red lights and dodging through traffic disregarding the laws of the land so maybe they cancel each other out?

So what do YOU think then? Has becoming a parent changed the way you think? Have past accidents swayed you one way or the other? Are you worried about your stupid-ass hair going flat? Pretty pretty please post in the comments what you think about helmets, keep it nice…

The 2010 London’s Calling event is taking place in a couple of weeks time. I’d love to go to it but I’d almost certainly be killed by a real life messenger or a real life bus.

The weekend long event will raise money for the London Courier Emergency Fund which helps London’s bike messengers in all kinds of ways, I love when a community makes a real effort to take care of itself. For more info click your way over to the official website.

Check out the video below from the 2007 race, it’s easily my favourite alleycat vide by a looooooong long way. Even the fucking terrible music is good! It was shot by Lucas Brunelle, all his videos are off the chain.

This race was fucking brutal, there was a point where I had a stitch, cramp and a heart attack all at the same time. Prior to the pain we all met up down the waterfront in Bristol to sign up, get our spokecards and puff out our chests like fixed gear bike riding peacocks. 27 fine examples of men put their name where their mouth is and I slinked off to change into my sexy cycle shorts, I am a man who likes to have an ache-free gooch as well as massive guns.
We all took off from the meeting point for a mass ride through the streets to the start point at one of the city’s cemeteries (all checkpoints were cemeteries), Keiran told us we needed to collect ‘flowers for the dead’ before hitting the final checkpoint and I made an inappropriate joke about shooting an innocent black man at the end instead. I was repaid by my water bottle falling out of it’s cage and delaying my start, d’oh! Very few of the 27 knew their way around Bristol so the pack very soon split into a few groups of outsiders following locals.
It very soon became apparent that this race was going to be a bit of a hill fest, with a 72GI and super steep track drops my bike doesn’t really lend itself to steep hills, long hills yes, steep hills no and I was fucked pretty quickly. I didn’t fall behind on the hills I was just way closer to death than everyone else at the tops but I do love to bomb so I made up some time on the way down. All was going really well until the local (Cab) and his hangers-on I was following turned a corner and I lost them, I took a wrong turn and they were gone so I had to wait a few seconds for Ade ‘44/16’ Ridley in the hope that he knew where he was going. How quickly the tides turned, one second he was my foe, then he was my friend and I would stick by his side right to the finish line, where I planned to stab him right in the back and attack when he wasn’t expecting it.
The first thing we did was to steal some council flowers then hit Park St, this bastard of a hill is usually a piece of piss but after 3 checkpoints it nearly broke us, we ascended slowly but surely, calculated turn after turn, pull after pull we conquered the beast. There was a fair amount of flat after this and we started to make good time before we got a bit lost and had to ask a girl for directions. She could have just pointed but she wanted to give us turn by turn directions (twice) and eat crisps at the same time, the tension was palpable as she led us through “take a right, then an immediate left, then right, then left, then right…”, I could have slapped her but I was too polite. We entered the cemetery from behind and after a bit of pounding we found the checkpoint, Ed signed us off and we hit what was to be the final hill and the one that finally took our manhood. It all happened so fast, the sweet sensation of metal under foot was replaced by the sickening feeling of asphalt, tears streamed down our faces, breath fell from our mouths and we walked broken men. At the top we mounted our steeds and Ade slowly pulled away from me, I was done, I followed without losing too much ground but it was enough to put my plans of a last minute attack firmly out of the window.
The finish point was at the ice cream van on the downs, we rolled up in 14th and 15th place. A lemonade lolly has never tasted so good. We all agreed that the race was a belter and grumbled about how much pain we were in, the temperature fell as we waited for the rest of the racers to turn up. The prize giving took place out in the open, the top guys got a few prizes each and then everyone down to 20th place got to pick one thing each. I spotted a bangin’ blue Bagaboo hip pouch, although in my eyes it was actually a tiny little messenger bag, the kind that I’ve wanted for a long long time. Unfortunately being 15th I knew I would never get it, everyone took their turn to pick a prize, the t-shirts went, the top tube pads, the phone holders, the wallets, it was like fucking Countdown in my head as these prizes went down, I honestly couldn’t believe that someone would pick a mini top tube pad over this pouch. As we drew nearer I turned to Ade and shotgunned the pouch, I think he could see the evil twinkle in my eye because he took the Tracko Chalk Bag and I got what I wanted, I couldn’t believe it, I was sure it was going to go first!
After a great ride back down into the centre of Bristol we all went our separate ways for food and then we headed back home. This was the toughest alleycat I’ve done so far, it was just right I suppose, not too easy but not so hard that the enjoyment was lost. Big shout out to the Bristol Trackdropouts boys for putting on another killer event, I’ll see you in October for the Hacksaw…

(All photos by Brad Bishop)

Last Friday I had to catch the bus home, after a bit of a barney with some stuck up bitch in Tesco I am not allowed in my girlfriends company car anymore, ha! I’ve spent practically my whole life getting around by bus, after my parents got divorced in 1994 it was the bus or nothing because my mother can’t drive.

I used to skate into town most of the time when it was dry but still had to bus it home and as long as I had my Walkman I didn’t really mind. When depression finally ravaged my life like wild fire and I lost everything I had catching the bus became a whole different affair. It went from being my way of getting around to the most miserable part of my day, and believe me my days were MISERABLE. Fair enough I probably didn’t help myself by listening to Red House Painters non-stop but I started to see catching the bus for what it actually is: a freak show.

Seriously now, it’s fucking horrible. What is up with all these fully grown adults catching the bus? Why haven’t they learned to drive or discovered bikes or walking? They are all as dull as a brush, they get on and sit in the area for prams/wheelchairs when there are plenty of other seats and are then pissed off when they have to move a few stops later. They stink of piss or B.O or are covered in pastry or feel the need to eat McDonalds. I suppose the old folks can’t be blamed for stinking of piss but they still get on my tits on the bus, I just can’t help but think that they have wasted their lives if they are still using public transport at their age.

One time back in the 80’s I remember this crazy woman get on with a ghettoblaster and was singing along for the whole journey, it has stuck in my mind for so long because such behaviour is insania but since the advent of MP3 mobile phones with speakers it seems that kids think it is absolutely fine to play the shittest music known to man in the back seats, it’s so fucking retarded! Who the fuck is bringing these socially inept idiots up? Why would you play music on a bus? It really grinds my gear!

What I’m trying to say is that discovering cycling has totally changed the way I travel. I’m no longer at the mercy of timetables (that drivers can’t keep); I don’t have to go places when I can I now go when I want; I get around for free now, Swansea buses are ridiculously expensive; I can get from A to B relatively germ free; and cycling is quicker, the bus journey to work takes 35-40 minutes, I can cycle it in 12 minutes. People need to get a grip on reality and swap their bus tickets for bikes.

Oh, I forgot, one time there were these two total mongs sat by me talking about going on holiday, their conversation went like this:
Him: “I want to go somewhere hot, like Siberia or something.”
Her: “Yeah, it’s fucking boiling there innit, I’d have to buy a new bikini.”
If there is any better reason not to catch the bus, I’d like to hear it!

The 2nd annual Hacksaw’s Challenge will hit the streets between Bristol and Bath on October 30th. I missed the last one but I’ll be at this one in the fanciest fancy dress EVER! For more info go to Bridge the Gap or the bloody wonderful Trackdropouts forum.

There is an article in The Guardian today about riding brakeless, personally I just think people should mind their own business and let us ride however the hell we feel like it. Read the whole article here, it also links out to a NY Times article from 1987 on the same subject.

I’m enjoying all this fuss over “The only good trick on a track bike is going fast” graphic that popped up a while back, people are upset, bike advocates are on their high horses, tricksters are feeling disrespected, Massan must be the second coming of Jesus or something. Yeah a bike is a bike but fixed gears are the bo-diggidy of bikes and track bikes are the bo-dizzle of fixed gears therefore track bikes must be the bestest. What the hell am I on about? I also like skateboards.

More “ride this or that or not that” things…
http://sfgfc.wordpress.com/2010/07/13/true-dat/
http://ilovebicycles.tumblr.com/post/996306853
http://prollyisnotprobably.com/2010/08/bikes_are_bikes.php
http://4416.co.uk/?p=3002

Brother cycles now has t-shirts up for grabs at their website, I’m a big fan of their logo and of black t-shirts so this is right up my street. Pick one up in their shop.They also posted the photo below to their blog this week with the good old fashioned ‘coming soon’ tagline, black on black is always good, some nice black decals is all I need to make my bike fully goth. I’ve been riding my Brother Cycles frame for a few months now and I absolutely love it, I will NEVER EVER buy a frame without threaded dropout adjusters again, this thing just holds that back hub in place perfectly, no more slack chain and no more spending ages getting the tension in the first place. The paint is tough as nails too, I really shouldn’t have said that because it’ll probably get all scratched up now but what the hey. If you are after a really decent frameset for a really decent price then start with Brother Cycles, I’m not easily pleased and I am pleased!

Today is a very exciting day, the reprint’s of Gavin ‘Boikzmoind’ Strange’s Death Before Derailleur t-shirts are ready for buying. They are available in black and white, printed by White Duck Screenprint on Continental tees and available from his online shop for £15.

Long time readers might remember what happened to my original one, if you don’t know I was ploughed down by some prick who’s bloody car managed to break my collarbone and rip a hole through my right thigh muscle. All my clothes had to be cut off at the hospital, lucky for me I was wearing my favourite jeans, t-shirt and hoody that day, yay!